Are you looking to have the most fun and exciting night of your life at some of the BEST strip clubs Las Vegas has to offer?
If so, you are on the right path my friend…
But before we can take you to the land of milk and honey, where the most beautiful women created on earth take it all off for you, and are ready and willing to fulfill all your sexual fantasies, we have to school you on the rules of the land first.
Just like in the heavens above, this land has it’s share of fallen angels who love to prey on unsuspecting tourists like Vultures do to dead animals in the middle of the hot Las Vegas desert; the only difference is these vultures will eat your ass alive if your not careful!
To avoid this unfortunate fate for yourself we’ve prepared the most informative guide full of insider tips and tricks that will lead you to the promise land of Milk🥛 and honey 🍯 safely.
This guide is what we call “The 10 Las Vegas Strip Club Commandments”, and if you obey these 10 commandments you will be granted ETERNAL LIFE in strip club heaven, where you’ll have the most amazing time of your life, and all your positive memories and experiences with the most gorgeous and seductively scented angels will stick with you in your psyche for all of eternity!
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THE 10 STRIP CLUB COMMANDMENTS
(The Las Vegas Edition)
1). THOU SHALT NOT DRESS LIKE A BUM
This is the first commandment because if you eff this one up, you won’t even make it inside to see the promised land! Some of the more high end gentlemen’s clubs in las Vegas require tucked-in shirts with collars. Others allow untucked collared shirts or T-shirts. Shorts, flip flops, baggy clothing, and bandanas are a big no-no everywhere.
The general rule is “look presentable.” If you can make it happen, try to look your BEST. First impressions are important, plus you’re going to be surrounded by beautiful women after all, so dress to impress and make them wet for you.
2). THOU SHALT NOT TAKE A TAXI OR UBER
In Las Vegas taxi and Uber drivers receive up to $100 per person they deliver to the strip clubs, so in order to retrieve this money back the clubs charge their guests excessive entrance fees, usually between $50-$60 per person.
To avoid paying this money to the club we suggest using our exclusive roundtrip VIP strip club limo service. FOR LESS than it would cost you to book a taxi and pay for entrance fees normally, you would get Roundtrip VIP Limo Service, VIP Entry & 1 Premium bottle of Alcohol… It’s A NO-BRAINER!
3). THOU SHALT NOT USE THE CLUBS ATM
Unless you enjoy taking your hard earned money and setting it on fire, then I’d suggest you don’t touch the clubs ATM machines even if you had a 10ft pole. To put this into a clear perspective for you, most ATM machines in Las Vegas charge 20% on average, so if you withdrew $500 you would pay $100 in fees!
Why not save that extra money and put it towards tipping the dancers instead of tipping the damn ATM machine! Better to stop at a casino or Bank machine before you head to a gentlemen’s club.
4). THOU SHALT NOT USE A CREDIT CARD
Cash is KING! This statement can’t be any truer than it is at a Las Vegas strip club. Unless you want to get scammed like the guys in the infamous Hustlers movie starring Jennifer Lopez, I’d suggest you leave your credit cards at the hotel.
We’re not saying that this unfortunate fate is guaranteed to happen to you, but is buying drinks with your credit card really worth the risk? You’re safest bet is to bring only cash to the club, and bring only the amount you are ok spending!
5). THOU SHALT NOT LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR DRINKS
Once again unless you want to end up like the guys in the Hustlers movie starring Jennifer Lopez and Cardi B, I’d suggest not losing sight of your drinks.
Although this is not guaranteed to happen to you, there are vultures lurking around these club who will slip something in your drink to get you drugged up, and then they’ll rob you blind once you’re out of it.
Best thing to do is open your own bottle if you can, or place something on top of your drink whenever you are not having a sip from it.
6). THOU SHALT NOT GET SLOPPY DRUNK
This one should be self explanatory, unless you want to get kicked out of the club or become an easy target to get robbed than I’d suggest to drink enough to enjoy yourself while keeping you’re cognitive functions and awareness levels in a balanced state.
7). HONOUR THY DANCERS
These girls work for tips and tips alone. That means this: (1) Don’t go into a strip club with barely enough cash to cover a round of drinks; (2) Don’t look repeatedly at a dancer working her stuff without walking up and tipping her; and (3) Do not, under any circumstances, sit stage-side without a pocketful of dollars to throw on stage.
How much will you need for a night? If you are an average spender, figure at least $50 per hour for drinks and and stage tipping; lap dances go for $20 each on the floor and $40 in the VIP area, so add that on top if you think you’ll find the woman of your dreams.
(You will, so add it now.)
8). ASK FOR PRICES BEFORE GOING INTO VIP
VIP dances in Las Vegas are more expensive then what you might be used to in your hometown and usually require you to purchase drinks as well.
To avoid any surprises we suggest asking the managers what the normal rates are just in case some of the dancers are trying to charge an excessive amount.
Dancers are independent contractors so they can charge whatever they want, but if you know the rates ahead of time you will be better equipped to negotiate with them so you don’t end up getting ripped off.
9). THOU SHALT NOT TAKE PICTURES
Taking pictures inside the strip club is one of the fastest ways to get kicked out, or even worse have your phone getting your phone smashed.
Especially If you are sitting close to the stage be sure not to use your phone… Firstly out of respect for the dancers on stage and secondly so you won’t be mistaken for taking pictures or secretly recording.
10). REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN
Despite all the pre-cautions we mention here we advise that you let loose and have as much fun as possible. You are blessed to be alive and have the opportunity to Visit Las Vegas. Life is short to worry spending some money.
Overall Las Vegas strip clubs are the best in the world, and these commandments are only a guide to make sure you have the greatest experiences possible while also helping you to stretch your dollars by avoiding money pits wherever possible.
Top 5 Strip Clubs in Las Vegas
Now that you are familiar with the rules, you are one step closer to reaching the promised land. There are dozens of strip clubs in Las Vegas but not all of them are worth going to. Below we have put together a list of the top 5 Gentlemen’s Clubs with a brief description of each.
The Last piece of advice I’d like to part with you is, Las Vegas’ best strip clubs are on a late schedule compared to strip clubs in most other cities. Prime time in the Vegas clubs—when you’ll find the greatest number of lap dancers and generally the best stage shows—is from 11:00 pm to 3:00 am.
So, if you’re looking for the biggest crowds, best stage shows and greatest selection of top-end dancers in the Vegas strip clubs, come at 10-11 pm and stay late.
Showing up before the big crowds arrive puts you in an excellent position for getting the best available lap dancers in the club. What good is it to spot that dancer across the room who is exactly your type, if there’s virtually no chance she’ll make it to your table before she’s snapped up by someone else?
This approach also tends to eliminate the first-string/second-string effect in Vegas. Dancers who start early tend to stay on into the peak hours, and dancers who start late tend to stay on until the early morning hours. Both sets of dancers are peak-hour worthy. They just have different starting-time and stage-fee preferences. Now without further ado here is our top 5 list!
1. Treasures Gentlemen’s Club –
Treasures feels like a party in a giant mansion with dark wood finishes, elaborately carved artwork, and winding staircases between two floors. However, the club is best known for having its own steakhouse on property. It’s an intimate space with large comfortable leather furniture and a service team that’s been in place for years. After filling up on prime steaks and seafood, head over to the main room, where the performers are attentive and the dances add up fast.
2. Sapphires –
Sapphire is the largest strip club not only in Las Vegas, but in the world. It has more than 70,000 square feet of poles, stages, private rooms, and skyboxes. Literally hundreds of girls perform each night. There are special options to get you close to the main stage, and elite VIP options that sits you in the center of the room with performers even above you. There is also an option for the ladies that has male performers known as Men of Sapphire on Fridays and Saturdays. It’s easy to see why Sapphire is one of the best.
3. Crazy Horse 3 –
With plenty of stages and multiple rooms guests quickly see what makes Crazy Horse 3 special in Vegas. It is one of the closest gentlemen’s clubs to the strip, and feels a bit like a nightclub as well. Don’t let the feel fool you, as you will find it very easy to meet and interact with the entertainers and dancers. CH3 is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It also has great food and lots of bar areas for drinks.
4. Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club –
When it comes to energetic strip clubs in Las Vegas, Hustler takes the prize. This venue feels more like a paradise with an endless flow of beautiful women. Performances and dances go on throughout 3 floors of this vibrant and neon styled club. Looking for more privacy? Feel free to enjoy 11 suites and 3 skyboxes. You’ll also find the Kings of Hustler that has male dancers for the ladies.
5. Peppermint Hippo –
The Peppermint Hippo is one of the newest strip clubs in Las Vegas, taking over the old Olympic Gardens; a stand-alone building just north of the Strip on Las Vegas Boulevard. The second floor is no longer open, but there are two main stages on the ground floor with lights in red and purple tones, four full bars, and “Pepper,” a life-size metal statue of a hippo. The club is open 24/7 with happy hour 9 am–7 pm for $150 bottles, half-price drinks, and $20 beer buckets.